Reply to losing interest in spouse in sexless marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "losing interest in spouse in sexless marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am thoroughly confused.

Have you had zero sex for three years, very little sex or just "not enough" sex?
What happens when you initiate at what seems to be a good time (e.g. kids in bed, things relatively peaceful)?  Has she ever initiated?
What happens when you specifically ask her to do [something relatively vanilla]?
If you ask about other problems in the marriage, e.g. sources of resentment, what does she say?

I guess it is unclear from your PPs (or maybe you do not know) whether she is openly "rejecting" you, or checked out, or avoiding sex, or just not particularly enthusiastic, or doesn't get off, or is turned on by different things, or is angry about something else?  How you will proceed sort of 100% depends on knowing the answers to this.[/quote]

OP here, thank you all for the responses.
Have you had zero sex for three years, very little sex or just "not enough" sex?-We have had actual sex 3 times since 12/14 (Last time there was any degree of frequency was before that-once every 2 months maybe).  Maybe 4 reluctant at best BJ's in that span.

What happens when you initiate at what seems to be a good time (e.g. kids in bed, things relatively peaceful)?  Has she ever initiated? There is never a good time.  Always something that makes it not a good time.  The only time she seems even remotely interested is when we go to the beach.  So once a year. She has initiated in the past, though not for a long time and not nearly as much as I did.

What happens when you specifically ask her to do [something relatively vanilla]? She says no.  If we get to that point and I ask to do something different she says it doesn't feel good (before we do it) and that she has a specific way that it feels good to her.  Looking back she has never asked me what feels good to me that I am aware of.

If you ask about other problems in the marriage, e.g. sources of resentment, what does she say?  She says she is 100% happy with our marriage, and I think she is.  She says she knows sex is important and wants to work on it but does zero towards that end.  Whenever we have talked about our sex life she ends up crying saying she is a bad wife etc.  We can't even really talk about it anymore, which is why I have pretty much given up.

[/quote]

Interesting that the beach vacation gets her motor running.  Maybe she has a Vitamin D deficiency.  Or maybe she's too tense ordinarily and the beach relaxes her.  Anyway, that situation really sucks, but appears to be common.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics