Reply to Getting married in a month and I can't decide if I want to take his last name

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I kept my name. It's a quirk of American culture to have women change their name upon marriage and I hope that my daughters don't do adopt this tradition. I agree with you that it is archaic and un-feminist.

What about my kids? Officially, they have DH's last name and my last name as a middle name. This makes it really easy to show their connection to both parents.

Fun sidenote, in my culture there is no such thing as a middle name - the child can have multiple given names and/or surnames. So for example on my DC's passport my last name is listed as a surname along with DH's last name. I like this tradition much better than erasing the mom's name completely as is the custom in the U.S. For practical purposes in my country, we also just use the last surname in everyday communication for example: DC would still be Mr. or Ms. (DH's last name.) Still, it's considered important for the children to have the mom's name to honor both sides of their family tree. [/quote]

This.

I really don't understand why more families don't do this. I also kept my last name and my children have my last name as a middle and husband's last name as their last name. I think that it's archaic for women to change their names upon marriage and I'm American![/quote]

The problem is that a name eventually has to be dropped.  If your daughter does what you did then she'll be dropping your name.  It's not like someone can have four middle names.  You have two people getting married with two different last names.  The easy solution is to have the same last name.  [/quote]

That's fine. That's actually the way it works in Spain. The second last name is dropped in the next generation. Easy-peasy. I don't think the "easy solution" is to have the same name.[b] Giant hassle to change your name, have people not be able to find you, etc. [/b]I've lost track of old friends that way, esp friends from high school and college. [/quote]

It's really not a giant hassle.  You'll probably face more of a hassle in life having a different name from your spouse.

In terms of losing track of people I'm not sure how.  My old email address forwards to my new one.  I simply changed my last name on Facebook and kept the same friends.  Same with LinkedIn.  While your name may be special to you, to others it isn't that big of a deal.  I think you're overthinking this.  [/quote]

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