Reply to Disciplining other kids at the park

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Removing the child's hands - fine.  Giving him a lecture - you're opening yourself up to be criticized in kind.  Like it or not, we don't discipline other people's children in [b]this culture[/b], although of course you need to do what you need to do to help your own child in the moment.  [/quote]

Maybe in your culture, whatever that is.[b] But in every social circle I've belonged to[/b] (my children are ages 4, 8, and 12), we have always disciplined each other's children in situations such as the OP described. No spanking, of course, but certainly a firm reprimand and, if necessary, removal of hands (or of the child) from the situation.

You can choose to let this sort of behavior go on, or you can choose to not to do anything. Think about the example you are setting your children.[/quote]

Very different to discipline a stranger's child in the park, vs your friend's child (when you know your friend is ok with it).  Not saying that OP did something totally crazy; just that she crossed a boundary, and had her boundaries crossed in return. [/quote]

PP here--by social circle, I also meant neighborhood playgrounds, where I have disciplined young children whom I did not know. I don't think that OP crossed a boundary. I think that OP behaved in a rational manner that, frankly, I think more parents need to adopt. We have lost a strong sense of the village. [/quote]

You're not part of my villiage.  Lecture or yell at my kid in a way I don't like, then you might get yelled at in return.  That's just the way it is.  Of course you need to physically protect your children.  But if you feel you have the right to correct other children, then you are stepping into the dynamic where you yourself might get corrected.  If you don't want to get corrected, then MYOB.  [/quote]

If the little boy had come up to Op's daughter and snatched away her toy that she was playing with  and then the boy wouldn't give it back which caused Op's daughter to flip out and cry....yeah, I would have less sympathy for the situation because Op set her kid up for that by bringing toys to the park in the first place.  Something like this happening would be fairly foreseeable.

But this boy just walked up to Op's daughter and grabbed her hair - TWICE - and would apparently not let go even when asked to let go.  Op was absolutely right to step in and pry that kid's fingers off of her daughter's hair before he hurt her any worse than he already did.  And since the boy's mother was so completely off in LaLa land, I think it was fine for Op to scold that kid.  Why?  Because - I don't care who you are - it is not o.k. to hurt another child at the playground intentionally.

The boy's mother should have been appalled and apologetic to Op and her daughter, instead the woman was defensive and argumentative "Don't yell at my kid lady!".  Rarely you will run into a crazy person like this.  Op handled a bad situation as well as anyone could have given the stupidity of this mother.[/quote]

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