Reply to Has anyone successfully stayed married just for the kids? Is this a good idea?

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Reply to "Has anyone successfully stayed married just for the kids? Is this a good idea?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am "staying for the kids"... but we don't fight. We have no problems co-parenting, running a house together. We love each other and treat each other with respect.

He had an affair, I tried to "work on the marriage" (which is a crock, since there was nothing wrong with the marriage). He had another affair, I was done.

It is better to divorce if you fight, it is worse to divorce if you don't fight. (I would link to the study but am in a hurry right now.) [/quote]

This is me as well.  I have filed for divorce but will wait for him to move out as long as I can stick it out. The affair didn't kill our marriage but all of the lying did afterwards.  I really think it depends on the situation if a divorce is best for the kids.  Mine are 12 and 15 and are very close to their dad.  They will suffer emotionally and financially with a divorce.  They are both gone this week to camp and I miss them terribly.  I can't even imagine not being a part of their daily lives from here on out due to my husbands selfishness.   Ultimately, we will divorce but I am trying to buy them time.  I always here that the kids want to see their parents happy and think that is a crock of shit.  As long as there is no major tension or fighting, they would rather not have their lives in total upheaval going from home to home.  I would choose my kids happiness over mine any day:)

I also have a major extenuating circumstances as why I do stay. The married affair partner had a child with my husband.  The OW is now suing my husband for child support and revoking her husbands legal paternity.  If she wins, my husband will pay a shit ton in child support and have some custody of the child.  This will cause my kids even more trauma and I would rather they are at least in the house with both parents if this kid is introduced into their lives so they can adjust to the situation with both of our support.

Yes, for now, I will stay for my kids but planning my exit.
[/quote]

Geez Louise that's a tough marriage!

I hope that you encourage your kids to receive the new child warmly though - he/she will be the only good thing to come of this probably. Try to treat him/her as a blessing. Think about hating a 5 week old snuggly [b]KISSY[/b] puppy - it's just wrong, right?[/quote][/quote]

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