Reply to I'm on the verge of divorce, talk me down

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my DH is EXACTLY LIKE THIS. Why it is so hard to close the cabinet doors or push in the dresser drawers, I will never understand. Although, when my MIL visits she does the same thing, so I guess at least I know where it comes from.

DH has been like this ever since we got together and has gradually improved through effort at training on my part. I would not recommend talking to him about how XYZ makes you feel and asking him in generic terms to be neater. My DH would be annoyed by that and would consider it to be passive aggressive (even though it's not but whatever). Instead, give him concrete steps and tell him what to do, in a neutral, pleasant tone, and then thank him for doing it. Focus on one or two things at a time until he has mastered those things, then move on. If you see behavior you don't like, ignore it until the time comes to focus on that behavior. Essentially, think of him like you do your 2 year old in terms of how you are trying to instill good behaviors. I know it sounds condescending, but my DH now hangs up his towel after showers without fail instead of leaving it in a ball on the floor to mildew and that is a BIG WIN.

Don't divorce. Just pick your battles. 
[/quote]

+! great advice! And I wholeheartedly agree - 1 or 2 things at a time, neutral, pleasant voice. Works for me! My DH used to chuck water bottles all around his apartment upon completion and pick them up like once a month. Now he leaves very little personal imprint - except his ass imprint literally on the freshly made bed while he is getting dressed. But I'll be attacking that one soon. [/quote]

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