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[quote=Anonymous]You should not make an important decision on the basis of feedback from DCUM.  The specific lies you are aware of over the past 8 weeks might sound small to the folks reading here because you are not able to convey adequately the feeling in your gut.  I am assuming that your gut is sending you powerful messages ... mistrust doesn't just come from no where.

Second guessing yourself is all part of the "should I leave a cheater" experience.  When you finally talk to him about all of this, it will get much worse because he will tell you all the things you long to hear and explain all the "misunderstandings" and probably blameshift so that the problem becomes your "paranoia" instead of his lies.  Ask me how I know.  One way to counteract this lovely experience is to possibly be more sure.  I am not suggesting (like other posters here) that you don't know enough.  If you no longer trust the person you are with to tell you the truth ... that is enough, in my book.  You might consider hiring a PI to keep tabs on him for a few weeks, particularly during lunch time and those nights out with the guys.  If you have the money for a therapist, then perhaps you have the money for PI.  Knowing "for sure" is really helpful in trusting your decision to leave.  It is also helpful in getting a fair divorce settlement.  Just remember, not finding a smoking gun doesn't necessarily mean there isn't one.

It is a really unhappy time for you and I am sorry.  I recommend you go to chumplady.com to read, learn, and compare notes with folks who have been cheated on and will give you more empathy and good advice than you can get here.  Your situation is about a lot more than an expired discount at a sub shop.  Good luck.[/quote]

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