Reply to Poll for wives who don't have regular sex with their spouse..

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Reply to "Poll for wives who don't have regular sex with their spouse.."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In no particular order:  kids, stress, overwork, money worries, sleep deprivation, unhealthy lifestyle/bad diet/lack of exercise, too much alcohol (to relax after a stressful day), various medications that affect libido....i.e. the modern age is full of these things that interfere with intimacy.

If you had into all of these things existing relationship problems then it can be difficult to prioritize sex.[/quote]

The ladies of DCUM are always talking about "red flags" in potential male husbands. So as a single 33 year old guy, what are the red flags that I should be looking for that would cause a woman to de-prioritize sex in a long term relationship? How can I make sure she doesn't fall prey to all this stuff above and continues to reflect what she advertised during the dating phase?[/quote]

I'd actually like to address this seriously, speaking as someone who was the one with low drive in my first marriage, who learned a lot, and now makes intimacy a priority in my second marriage.

One thing you can look out for is, truthfully, someone who is a micro-manager or a perfectionist. Type A personalities. Women who tend to be focused on one thing to the exclusion of other things. We get tunnel vision easily, and there are certain times in a relationship when there are plenty of things to distract us. When I got pregnant, I was nervous about birth and becoming a mom, and I threw myself into learning about those things to the exclusion of other things. When DD was born, like all babies, she was very time consuming. I was not a person who had very firm ideas about how things must be done with DD, but I did find that I picked up all the slack. If she was crying and my ex did not immediately jump to go take care of whatever the issue was, I did it. After some time, he became accustomed to me just handling all the issues, whatever they ended up being.

What I am trying to be in my second marriage is a person who, while I have my own ambitions and thoughts about how things should be done, focuses on the bigger picture. The greater good. I also chose to marry someone who is similarly focused. My ex, like me, was very focused on his own ambitions. It was a recipe for disaster, though if we had both felt indifferent toward the lack of intimacy in our marriage, it probably could have lasted for quite some time before anyone realized they were unhappy.

So I guess my "red flag" for you would be a woman who has a hard time balancing multiple, sometimes conflicting priorities.[/quote]

Omg, this is so very complicated and convoluted... [/quote]

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