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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Why do women let motherhood destroy their marriages..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We're not talking about an infant, tolddler or even ES age child here. We have a fully functional teen, yet DW insists on doing everything for her. She is way too involved in her life and day-to-day life for the child's age and the child is chafing at it. Added to this is that the be all and end all of everything is the goddamned house. [b] I pay 1/3 of my salary towards it every month, so you damn right I hate it. DW puts nothing towards it even though she makes just as much money as me.[/b] DW never wants to do anything fun. She wants to clean the house and have the perfect lawn, which means me doing the work or paying for it. She is uninteresting. The only things she talks about are shopping, work and the neighbors. When I suggest we do things, or she listen to a certain piece of music or read a book she says she "doesn't have time." No, DW, you will not make time that is the difference and it is destroying your marriage. [/quote] You two have bigger problems than her motherhood. Agree with a PP, she's not that into you.[/quote] Actuallyk, it's 24% of my income before taxes. So, it feels like a much bigger bite once taxes, health insurance, retirement, etc. are taken out. [/quote] You are married and you earn comparable salaries. It does not matter who writes the check to the mortgage and who pays for the groceries, kid activities, household supplies, etc. There is no such thing as your money and her money. DW is contributing to your overall lifestyle as much as you are. That would be true even if all her money were going into savings, because you own an automatic interest in those savings absent a prenup to the contrary. So stop resenting her for the pressure you feel to keep up with adult financial and asset management responsibilities. It sounds like she is pulling her weight and then some. OP, you clearly resent your wife and seem to be feeling overwhelmed with the drudgery of your life in general. Work on cultivating gratitude for your wife and your life, including your job and your house, and you might find that she responds. Life unfolds in stages. You are ready for this one to end, but that doesn't mean you need to end your marriage. Slow down and see how things evolve when your kid is out of the house. Start planning a great vacation or a move to a condo community where lawnwork will be absent. Stop making your wife feel like the choremaster and instead do things at home on your own initiative, with a sense of appreciation that you have a nice house and a family to take care of. Plenty of people don't. [/quote]
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