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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dh is kind, sweet and adorable. He works hard, provides for us and is a super husband in that he takes care of all my needs. He however, is not "alpha" in any way and I sense it is because he grew up with a super overbearing, emotionally abusive mother who did NOT let him be a boy. He tells me that when he was a little boy, he was not allowed to go outdoors, play a sport or do anything out of his own because his mother was scared he will get hurt. As such, he grew up watching TV and playing video games. He has a hard time relating to other men because he isn't..."manly" like them. He mostly hangs out with me and has superficial relationships with other men.

I am now, worried about how this will affect our future children, especially if they are boys. I want my boys to have a strong father figure to look up to. I want my dh to take them camping, do outdoorsy sport activities with them and teach them how to be a male who can be leaders and take an active role in a community. I think my dh is also worried about this as he keeps saying he wants to have only little girls. I know he knows how he lacked a "manly" education and he will not be able to offer that to our kid. What can we do?[/quote]

oh man. I married a beta guy who had an effectual father figure and passive mother - his only hobby was similar to video games, making digital music.

anyhow, we only have girls but i'm still concerned since my DH has zero role models on how to father, be a leader, practice sports, etc.   It is an added burden on me. 
I may have to do what my MIL did and just do nothing. she was overwhelmed at her situation and little contribution from her spouse so the kids ended up doing nothing.

you're just going to have to step up.  organized sports will help later, when ages 6-8 and over.  meanwhile, watch the olympics, go to live games, practice Tball, go to HS games, go to the Y and watch people do various sports and exercise, different camps.

But you're never going to have the type of spouse who is out there practicing batting or fielding grounders. or making the kid jump into the pool and do 5 sec underwater.  or spend a few hours a week drilling layups and free throws. just not in his DNA. [/quote]

Effectual?  [/quote]

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