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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DDis a SAHM with two sweet little boys and a husband who has provided everything, home, clubs, cruises, cars etc. She has gone from size 0 to 18 in seven years and has a prickly personality that cost her several jobs. She objects to any hint their marriage may be affected by her weight. He won't level with her but is clearly withdrawing (he used t post pix of them together, no more). Anything I say just seems to make her eating worse. Any suggestions?[/quote]

Has husband told her that her weight is affected my their marriage?  Whether he has or hasnt, it's THEIR business. Big mistake to make it yours.

My father's been dead a couple of years, but I stopped speaking to him four years before that after he offered me money, in front of my husband, to lose weight. And no, I still don't regret that decision. It was just a few months after I'd had a a baby at 40 and I think I screamed something by about that, but I don't remember.

If you want to help, have a conversation about what she needs. Let her tell you. Start with babysitting her kids (or paying for one) while she takes some time for herself to don't whatever she wants.  But don't in any way hint, probe or push weight loss on her as something that's ruining her life. You will ruin your relationship with her, I promise. [/quote]that was not a nice thing for him to say, but a relationship ender?  You are tough.[/quote]

It was the final straw piled up on a lot of hurtful things he'd said, including an apology to my husband - in front of me - for me not turning out the way he'd wanted when he and my mom had adopted me.  You see, it had been his bright idea to adopt a little girl because they'd only had a son, their marriage was failing, and my dad thought a girl would lighten her up a bit - both physically and emotionally. It was against my mother's will and once I'd grown out of the cute stage, around age eight, she left my dad, cleaning out the house one day after he left for work, and a few months later told me I was a burden she didn't want anymore.  I went to live with my dad the next day and he spent the next 10 years trying to correct all the things he'd found wrong with my mother.

All these "corrections" took on a bit of urgency when his health started failing.  He thought my weight was going to drive my husband away and leave me destitute and he wanted to save me from the mistakes of his ex-wife.

So yeah. I'd had enough of all that. [/quote]

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