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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't get why this is an issue, except that MIL seems upset that OP and her husband won't be there for long.  IMO, it's totally reasonable to host a July 4 BBQ on July 4 - it's more than a family tradition, it's more like a national holiday celebration.  But it also seems fine that OP and her husband don't want to go because of the baby and the lack of vacation days.  So the issue really seems that the MIL is upset that OP and her husband won't be there the whole time.  This is probably one circumstance that I would suck it up and stay for several hours if you are going anyway.  I get that traffic sucks, but is it worth it to you to hang out with the relatives?  You frame this as if your MIL is making her planning more important than yours, but it is what it is so if you want to see the relatives, you should do it and just handle the drive.  This is more about what you want - your MIL isn't stopping you guys from hanging out.  Your MIL is being unreasonable in being mad, though she wouldn't be unreasonable in believing that you value an easier drive over spending time with relatives.[/quote]

To be fair to OP, she's going to be doing this with a newborn infant.  I think most people will understand her desire to avoid the worst of the holiday traffic.  It might depend on OP's tolerance for traffic.  I can barely handle it under the best of circumstances (DH gets less flustered than me)...with a newborn who may require frequent stops?  No way.[/quote]

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