Reply to Financial Infidelity - just caught DH hiding frivolous purchase

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. This is weird and I really hope you get to the bottom of this. If this is the beginning (or middle or even climax) of a pattern, be very careful to trust his word. If this is the secret you know about after some light snooping, then be prepared to find out some whoppers should you snoop again. I think you should, because you deserve to know what else he's secretly spending money on (or secretly embezzling or secretly paying for hookers or who knows what).

It took me some hard snooping to find out my DH was cheating. He hid it well for a while. Also found out that my money (as the higher earner) was going toward his secret porn habit.[/quote]

I didn't do any snooping, but mine was doing the same thing--holding back money before moving it into the family account. We were struggling, in debt, living paycheck to paycheck. The kids and I went without basic things while he secretly spent money on his porn addiction and other activities. Cheating, lying, being dishonest about finances (especially when every penny counts)---all the same animal. He confessed to a slew of things one day. I still don't know what he left out, and shudder to think. Just a warning--it may be serious, or it may be one little thing where your husband wanted to treat himself to something frivolous and felt guilty about it. Hopefully it's not part of a bigger set of behaviors. I get that you feel he betrayed your trust by hiding this. Financial transparency is especially important when you're struggling to get by. I would keep quiet and see what he ends up saying, or if you ever even see this sword. [/quote]

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