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[quote=Anonymous]Hi, two time adoptive Mom here. There is a bit of an age gap between the kids, and I wasn't familiar with DCUM at the time of my first adoption a few years ago. Honestly until reading this forum, I never realized how many people used DE. I thought it was a very, very  rare choice, now I see it is actually pretty common. For me with the first adoption, it just seemed totally alien to me, plus my husband and I wanted to be equally related to our child. I should say both our adoptions were international so the children were waiting, don't look like us, and are non special needs. We used a reputable agency and had good experiences with both adoptions. That said, adoption is expensive, intrusive, and very public. We had such a good experience with our first adoption, that there was no question we would pursue the process again for our second. I felt pretty strongly that a 'no" from my body after trying for 4+ years was a sign to look in another direction, although if I was starting out right now maybe I would feel differently. One thing I hope is that the prevalence of DE doesn't dissuade people from adopting. It is really a wonderful, transformational experience, and you and your child are bonded for life. Should we meet the birth parents some day (and I hope we will) I just see it as (hopefully) a bonus for our children. Good luck with your decision! [/quote]

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