Reply to Husband unemployed and not applying for jobs. How to manage my feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  He got a job in August 2013 and lost it again exactly two years later (August 2015).  Here I am again...he's unemployed and doesn't do anything other than blame me for his low self esteem.  I'm holding my breath for him to get a job because now I'm clear that I am not the one for him. He needs someone much more giving than I am.  Sad for my kid.  Hope he gets a job soon.  We fight all the time and are in counseling.

Assuming he's depressed, how can I help him get on the job search if I don't feel very much empathy for him?  I want empathy but my resentment gets in the way: I don't know what he does all day.  He doesn't do daycare as we pay for afterschool.  He doesn't cook.  He doesn't clean.  He rarely does errands.  He doesn't manage playdates, summer camp planning, etc.  He doesn't walk the dog.  He won't sit down with me and figure out a way to cut expenses so we can at least live within the new income level (mine).  He keeps buying bottled water, luxury juices, glass bottled milk ($7 a quart).  He says I don't appreciate him because he does things that I don't see, but he won't tell me what those are.   [/quote]

OMG....he would get a time limit and if nothing changed he would be GONE![/quote]

Lay the groundwork to be rid of him. [/quote]

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