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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So... my early ES Aspergers child chose a ridiculous outfit to wear to school today. I had to make him wear socks that matched. He thought it would be funny bc recently school did a wacky-dress day for school spirit. And, of course, my Aspie thinks that now he can just be wackily dressed any day he likes now. So... thanks to school for introducing that concept for a socially challenged child!

Anyway -- I made him wear matching socks. There were threats and tears. He ended by telling me "I'm having a really rough morning because of this!"

So... do we choose to let our child have autonomy over the things they can control or enforce a dress code that makes them unhappy? I guess in early ES he isn't making himself a target just yet -- not causing his own exclusion or victimization with his clothing choice just yet -- so... we're ok with a ridiculous outfit?

Just wanted to update all the educators out there. This can kinda be like the campaign against Indiana Gov Pence where women are emailing about their periods. We can give constant updates on our child's clothing and whether or not the choice is ok or not! [/quote]

I have posted earlier on this thread (the fourth grade recommendations).

If I could do it over again, I would start rotation of more current clothing early, by 4th, a little bit at a time.

Around 8-10 is when my younger kids started to get aware of what the other kids were wearing, such as asking for an Under Armour hoodie or those bright calf socks.  I think this is a very typical age.

My oldest was completely unaware until midway through sixth, when he started getting bullied and tuen noticed no one else was wearing Star Ward Legos, Ninjago, Minecraft, etc.

By the time he noticed the othe kids had long passed him by and his change to more fashionable clothing (now at his request) was so drastic and obvious to the other kids. EVERYONE noticed and to him that was not a good thing. And he was now awared enough to be embarrassed by the new attention (not necessarily good attention) and to be embarrassed about what he had been working.

So my recommendation having gone through it, is to start slowly adding those more current clothing items, don't rush through wsshing to make sure tye favorite clothes sre clean and ready so they have to try the new clothes (since they are clean), and have the wadrobe tuat looks like what other kids are wearing already in place so that when they notice or finally have the desire to look like their peers they are already there.

If you wait for them to lead this perfectly normal and appropriate behavior, they will be behind and feel even more on the outside when they finally notice what the other kids look like.

My other kids did the naturally and on a typical timeline when the majority of kids reach that point. My oldest was about two years later and it ended up causing him pain when he finally realized he didn't fit in.

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