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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP
 I'm a guy that WAS similar to your husband. I have a temper and goes on tantrum every now and then.

The only advice I can give you is to sit down and talk to him how it affects you deep down. If he truly cares he would stop  or go to therapy for anger management.

Most of the time we are clueless, take our wife for granted and forget to show appreciation and affection. We do need to be reminded every now and then.

I hope you do sit down with him. According to you he's a decent guy but with a bad temper. Don't be afraid of him, stand your ground and tell him if he don't stop you will leave. That is a wake up call for most men and if they care they WILL stop. I did.

Also the time when he doesn't speak after a tirade this is my take on that.
1. So we don't make the situation worst.
2. The time when we start to feel remorse for what we just did.
3. Finding a way to patch things up.
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OP here - thank you for this perspective. We definitely had that talk over the weekend - and have had it before. He feels badly that I become so upset, but he also thinks I should have a thicker skin and that, while it's not necessarily okay, his outbursts are a normal part of life. We disagree on that.

I think part of the problem between us is that this behavior set the tone for our relationship early on, and even though it happens so much less now than it did then, I am still always a little bit on edge, waiting for the next thunderclap. Even if it's been months since the last one.[/quote]

It's good that he's aware of it. But it seems like he needs some help, I was lucky enough to control mine without. I still get upset but I can control myself not to go on a tirade or raise my voice. I wanted to control mine w/o therapy but would have gone if I failed. So far I have for I don't want to hurt her emotionally. I wasn't aware in the beginning that it affected her that much. Just knowing that it did was enough for me to stop.
You should tell him having a thicker skin is not an option. If he must have an outburst he must not do it in your presence.
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