Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have 2 kids and DH has 2.  We've been married for 6 years and we dated for 3 years before that.  When we met the kids were small (3yo to 8yo).  There are phases to a family that you go through.  It is not all good and not all bad.  Depending on the ages of the kids, what their issues are, what external stressors that you also have in your life (job loss, health issues, etc), you go through it.

Your home will not be your own.  Your furniture will get abused.  You home may be messy a lot of the time.  A lot of things that I tolerate just fine with my bio kids I'm annoyed by with my SKs.

I'm in a good place now, and I think my marriage and family are good as well, but I just went through a lot of hell after SS stole money from me (we found out and got it back).  No, this is nothing that I ever could have planned or thought of or even knew how I would react before I got married.

A lot of his ex's choices and will somehow effect you.  Does the ex work and pay for things for the kids or does she expect your bf to pay for everything?  Does the ex take the kids to their activities, is she an very involved mom?  In my case I am a very involved mom and my ex does little.  He pays child support and sees them EOWE and that is about it.  My husband's ex does absolutely nothing so DH is on the hook for everything.  It can be very stressful.

In the end I still am very happy with DH and glad that we have a life together.  [/quote]

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