Reply to S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?

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Reply to "S/o SAHMs - why do so many men want one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do people really get the impression that lots of men want SAH wives? Or working wives? I think often it's a combination of circumstances and the wife's wishes.

Yes, there are people who say "My husband would NEVER want to be married to someone who doesn't work" or "My husband LOVES that I stay at home" but I always wonder what those people are boasting about, since life changes so much and the whole point of marriage is to stick together through thick and thin. Just because someone works doesn't mean they're ambitious, and just because someone stays at home doesn't mean they're doing your laundry and cooking...

Ideally, I want a spouse who is happy and satisfied and has a full and rich life, and I don't want to have to worry about finances. I want my kids to be cared for and to feel secure and loved.

WOH, SAH...those labels are not predictors of any of the above. And many people, when they get married, have no true idea of what life is going to be like with children, where they're going to be in their careers, and what is going to work for their family. [/quote]

+1.

As a biglaw partner, I rarely hear my male partner's express a strong desire one way or the other (and most are married to SAHM, at least when kids are young).  What they usually hope for is wife being happy.  "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" are true words.  I know there are some men out there that apparently have strong preferences.  Most men aim to marry pretty, fun women who are a good intellectual match without any real attachment to their wife's job, let alone what they will theoretically do when a baby comes.  And even if they had an idea of SAH/WOH, to paraphrase - the best laid battle plans never survive first contact with the enemy - the enemy being the first baby.[/quote]

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