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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Need advice - I have zero attraction to DH and avoid sex"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely. Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment. You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.[/quote] If my wife told me that, the not wanting to be rubbed or grabbed would be clear enough. But I'd have a hard time figuring out exactly what "feeling emotionally desired" means. I mean, I generally can understand the concept, but it's so squishy and vague, I'd have no way of knowing when her lack of that feeling was because of things I was or wasn't doing versus when it was just some arbitrary decision or lack of effort on her part. Those are goal posts that are pretty easy to move, and it's a concept that's pretty susceptible to being used as a pretext. [/quote]
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