Reply to snooping

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is a good explanation about why "snooping" is good for a marriage and blind trust is bad.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8121_snoop.html

[/quote]

To each their own, but if my spouse said I wasn't entitled to privacy because I was now married, I would end my marriage.[/quote]

What are you keeping "private"?[/quote]

Perhaps I am communicating with a friend about something embarrassing and confidential. The content, substance and mere existence of which is none of your business. Your snooping is a monumental violation. Monumental. [/quote]

My friends and I have a rule, if I tell you something I assume you will tell your spouse. Maybe if you did tell your spouse everything it would stop you from doing embarrassing things. [/quote]

Maybe it wasn't me who did anything. Maybe it was the friend.

And now you are telling the world that no secret is safe with you.

Good to know. [/quote]

I am not such a crappy friend that I do things so horrible and embarrassing that I need to tell my friends but I expect them to keep the information from their spouse, somebody to bounce ideas off of and somebody they can confide in. I would never ask a friend to betray the trust of their spouse.

Sorry you don't have a spouse that you trust to keep a secret.

All my friends know that their secrets are safe with me and my H. If it is so embarrassing they can't have my H know they need some serious therapy.[/quote]

New poster here. I trust my DH. Honestly, he is very trustworthy. But I would not share things told to me in confidence with my spouse. Sometimes there are things you don't want to share. Medical. Emotional. Etc

I have told my best  friend things I have explicitly asked her not to tell her spouse. Because her spouse can be judgemental, and when I need support, I need support. And if my friends tell me things I assume they are private .... and if I feel I might want to share with Dh I ask if that is OK. Sometimes they say yes .... sometimes no. I honor that.

I would be unlikely to continue confiding in a friend who shares everything with here spouse. Your H is not my good friend, he doesn't need to know everything.[/quote]

I agree, why you have to really know someone before confiding in them. I dumped a friend who told her husband personal things I had shared with her. I learned everything that went into her ear went right into his afterwards.  Horrible woman.  She ended up divorced because she did the same with her husband and posted stuff about his grown kids on her FB.  Karma.[/quote]

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