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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me it is emotional. I can't get passed mean thing DH said in the past. [/quote]

I hear this a lot. It goes back to the horse and cart theory.  If a man refuses to communicate or resolve a issue, the woman isn't likely to want as much sex.  One of my friends was cheated on by her spouse.  She stayed married but didn't want much sex with him after that.  Obligation sex was about it.

Another lady had issues with her in-laws because her husband let them walk all over her. He wouldn't put her first, in return she didn't put his needs first.

[/quote]
This.. for me.  Even if he tries to change it, there's the past. It's hard to let go. It takes time to heal.  I don't want to have sex with someone I'm angry with, resent, or dislike.  Plus, it doesn't help that he's not that great at it.[/quote]

Wow there are a lot of things packed in there:

1. He is doing a bad thing. 
2. He did bad things in the past. 
3. I resent him for the bad things he used to do. 
4. I am angry at him. 
5. I dislike him. 
6. He's bad at sex.

So, in order for you guys to start having sex, he has to stop doing the bad thing. You have to start liking him. You have to stop being angry at him. He has to somehow get good at sex. And, some arbitrary and indeterminate amount of time has to pass so you stop resenting him. Also too: hope your hormones and health are in relatively good shape when all this other crap gets cleared up and don't develop any new resentments in the meantime. [/quote]

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