Reply to Low earning husband who does not want to share any housework or parenting duties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]actually, my read is that OP would like to work full time, and/or save more money in other ways (moving, brown-bagging lunch, etc) but her husband is not on board with sharing any household or childcare duties at all, so she is stuck both with all the housework/childwork and her regular work, plus not making the money she is making. She is frustrated that he neither respects the work she does at home or will agree to financial goals that she sees are important. Sounds like he is just fine where he is.

Seems to me there are a couple things that would equalize:
they both work full time, they divide childcare in half, more or less, and put a bit more income toward cleaning and they agree on a budget

OR, she continues to work part time, and does proportionally more, but not all, of the home/child care work, and he agrees to cut back in other areas, so that they can meet shared financial goals.

In terms of working part time and having 3 kids,it seems that the fairest thing is that the number of hours spend on child care and housework is tallied up; the part time parent takes on the number of hours worked less than the spouse (10, for example, if s/he works 30 instead of partner's 40 hours), and the remaining hours is divided in half.

so let's say that on a given week, there are 6 hours/day per weekday devoted to child care, meal prep, bedtimes/baths, shopping, bills, etc. That's 30 hours per week. One parent works 10 hours less than the other, so the split would be 20 for the part time parent and 10 for the fulltime parent. So for the fulltime parent, that could be doing one hour every morning (all drop offs), and one hour every evening (all dishes, tidying and making lunches).  Of course, the weekends can be a place where instead of dividing 50/50 one parent makes up for doing a lot less during the week by taking on a lot more. 
[/quote]

op here, thanks for the response. a lot to think about here. [/quote]

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