Reply to Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it

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Reply to "Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a survivor of abuse, [b]I think it was really a betrayal of trust for that old neighbor to tell you, and it would be a further betrayal for you to tell your sister. [/b]

It sounds like he's moved on and made a good life for himself. It's up to him whether he feels he needs further support at this stage in life. He doesn't owe his wife, or you, an explanation for what his father did - he's not the one who did anything wrong. This entire approach just reinforces that it is the victim who is held to account.[/quote]

I have worked with abuse victims in the various court systems (various populations), and no way in hell should you be blabbing other people's business like this, particularly by a third party.  You have no idea if that gossiper has a vivid imagination and/or an axe to grind and/or any irrational competitiveness/ulterior motive with your BIL, OP.  Especially in this geographical area - people are straight out immature and nuts, at best, with something like this.  You need to grow up and scrutinize what you hear.  Even if it is true, it is not your place to say anything - think of it as being professional and upstanding.

In other words, you will gain more favors from your BIL and sister for shutting it, than for blabbing something that may or may not be accurate, if true at all.  Who knows?  Maybe the two sets of parents were at odds, for all you know.  Wise up.   Think of it as karma, if you have to, but learn to be more street smart. [/quote]

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