Reply to New baby and in-laws (venting)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think it really matters whether OP is hormonal and exhausted - she most likely is, but that doesn't mean she needs to put up with intrusive, annoying behavior. And the best of intentions can still lead to intrusive, annoying behavior.

And I don't understand why OP can't be selfish right now. If there's ever a time in a woman's life when she deserves a break from the usual demands of smile, play nice, be agreeable, sacrifice your needs/wants for others, etc., this is it. 
[/quote]

I think sacrificing one day a week to keep away family drama, future problems and letting your child bond with their grandparents is worth it.[/quote]

Also, maybe I am confusing threads, but it seem like until 5 weeks ago, OP had a great relationship with her inlaws. She said they were awesome. These in laws also have other grandchildren, so it is not likely that they are obsessing over this one baby. It seems like OP is replay just having a negative, hormone fueled reaction. She doesn't mind her own mom being there for days, but that us because her mom does house chores. The in laws do baby chores and OP feels threatened. I really don't think there is enough precedent to say these in laws are coming between her and her husband.

Can you imagine living 10 minutes from your newborn grandchild and not wanting to see him or her? And for an hour or so every week?

[b]Finally, as parents it was important for BOTH sets of GPs to bond with our kid.[/b] It meant the world to my DH to share the first few weeks of our child's life with his parents. I don't think we can just set aside DH's familial needs. He didn't give birth, but he is still a parent.[/quote]

Exactly.[/quote]

Five weeks in?  Really?  How much time is DH getting with the baby?

And plenty of families have long-distance grandparents who bond great over visits that happen every few months.  I mean, really.  There's no *need* for grandparents to spend tons of time with a newborn.  Priority number one is the new parents feeling solid as parents, which includes Mom's recovery.  So if OP's ILs stress her out, they can take a step back for a little while.  Their wants and desires are simply less important than OP's right now. They can still have a great relationship with their grandchild and treat their DIL with some respect for her needs.[/quote]

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