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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ILs will spring for a hotel, unless its just one of them staying, which is fine: we have a futon in our third bedroom/office. It's not really set up for two people, but we've had one set of friends give it a go, and I doubt we will repeat that experiment.

My mother, who lives an hour away, insists on staying with us whenever she can, like around the holidays. I can understand not wanting to drive at night with the drunks, but she doesn't like to give warning - she just goes back to her car and comes back with a suitcase... and she's not exactly the best house guest.[/quote]

And you have not yet learned to clarify this with her? "Mom, so glad you're coming over for Christmas. We'll do drinks at 4, dinner at 5. Were you planning to stay overnight? If so, for how long?"[/quote]

Ha - we do! She just has a different reason every time. We told her she could stay if she didn't want to drive home, but we would like notice.

Just yesterday, she asked why the ILs don't stay with us, and we told her that they prefer a hotel, so that they can have privacy when its two of them. My MIL has told us she doesn't like to impose, especially with the rest of the family is there. I appreciate it. My mom, doesn't get it. Even if you eat at 4, she'll linger so that she can stay the night. [/quote]

My point is, this should never be a surprise. Even if non-holiday dinner is at X time, you presumably have to let her know that somehow, so when you let her know the plans, you ask point-blank if she'll be staying over. So it shouldn't be "sprung" on you. You should know about it with at least a few days of advance notice.[/quote]

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