Reply to My DD told me that I am the maid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So I guess my question to DCUM is, how to be able to think strategically in the moment?[/quote]
OMG you do not get into a physical struggle with her!

You say, "you can choose to continue to watch TV, but if you do, you will have no phone tomorrow."  then go about your business.[/quote]

OP, I think that you need to remember that you have the final say.

So if she wants to watch TV, and you say not until after she's ready for basketball, and then she watches TV anyway -- who's going to get her to basketball? Does she get herself to basketball? If so, well, then she can get herself to basketball. Or does she need you to get her to basketball? If so, it's time for her to learn that "Mom, I am going to be rude to you and ignore everything you say, now drive me to basketball" is not going to work.

I don't think that you need to turn everything into a power struggle. But I do think that it would be good to remind her -- and yourself too -- that you are an independent human being, not your daughter's personal giving tree. (I really, really hate that book.)[/quote]

When she finally gets up from watching tv, gets dressed, and says she's ready for you to drive her to basketball, you calmly tell her that she chose to be defiant and watch tv and if she thinks you're driving her to basketball after that, she has another thing coming.  She is not your peer.  You are the parent.  And stop threatening to pull her from school.  That is ridiculously over the top.[/quote]

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