Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish there was a way to "like" comments because so many of these are spot on and I want to say "yay! yes!"

And I'm finding this thread to be very interesting - all the different sides and the various tangents it has branched off into.

I am genuinely curious though regarding the men who have responded negatively to this idea about emotional labor  - how many of you are married? Because if you are I am wondering does this mean that you already have an equal distribution of all labor in your household and both you and you spouse are happy and content with your arrangement so this all just seems foreign and a waste of time to you? (If so then kudos!) Or are you married, and going "this is all bullshit" and you've got a wife at home who's so beaten down and exhausted, and you're just unwilling to see the signs? I'd be very curious to hear her opinion on the subject  - brilliant idea - ask your wife to read this! See if she agrees with you! (I'm being serious, not being snarky.)

What I got from all of this is that Emotional Labor IS a thing, it IS important in our society*, and it is something that should be shared, not automatically assigned to the female in a relationship.

(* the whole "well just stop doing that if its too much" isn't a solution. To anything.)[/quote]

Well, I'm actually one of the wives in the "this is all bullshit" camp. I completely agree with the poster who said that many wives practically choose to be beaten down and exhausted, because they pursue the goals nobody else sees as vitally important.

I for one do not care to maintain DH's relationships. Why the heck would I? How would I? He is an adult; he can and does fend for himself when it comes to family. As far as dividing chores, I'm sorry, grown-ups are expected to be able to agree on this as well. Without claims of martyrdom, pent-up resentment, and all that other nonsense. DH was doing dishes late last night, because going to bed while the sink is dirty bothers him. If it bothers [i]him[/i], [i]he[/i] is welcome to clean it. If somebody's DH is incapable of understanding this, congratulations. You married an immature idiot. If you are unable to understand that 50 Christmas cards nobody wants won't get you a freaking medal... Well, you do the math :lol: [/quote]

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