Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sheesh, PP.  What the other PP said was:

[quote] I want my daughter to recognize when she's doing it and make conscious decisions about why she's doing it and whether and in what way she is getting compensation. I want my son to grow up both being able to contribute emotional labor to a relationship and to not expect his mate to give it without some kind of compensation or mutuality. [/quote]

You seem to be saying that PP should ignore the topic of emotional labor altogether and not teach it at all, and rather focus on teaching independence and smarts.  But I think it's better to teach both kids about emotional labor so they're prepared for what they will face.  Why not teach them everything?

Nobody taught you about emotional labor, as you say, and frankly you don't seem to have much empathy for people who are performing it for others without getting back in kind.  This is, I think, a good reason for PP to be teaching both her kids about emotional labor and unfair burdens.  It's better to know than not to know, better to be prepared and therefore better able to pick the right spouse than be surprised about things after you're married.  Lots of women in this thread and the MetaFilter thread were saying that they were NOT prepared for how the burdens of emotional labor would fall after their marriage and particularly after their kids.  You may have picked your spouse very wisely, or you may also have gotten lucky.

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Well, my DH rocks so it may be a bit of luck :)

We have a 9 year old DS and a 6 year old DD and we teach and model the exact same thing to both of them.  They should be nice to others and help out where they can even if it is a personal inconvenience at times.  They are both responsible for themselves and they shouldn't expect anyone to wait on them (be financially independent).  They should know what they want in life and clearly articulate it and work toward that goal (having a goal isn't enough, what's their plan...). Most importantly, they are responsible for their own happiness and establishing their own limits!

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