Reply to Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Wife nearly died. Angry with underwhelming response from her family"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for the kindness. It was a massive gut check that I wasn't crazy.

We are in the DC area. I am going to reach out to my wife's school because they have been great in terms of helping me through the morass of leave, disability, etc. I didn't think of reaching out to her school because we've only been here a year (we moved from the west coast last summer, ironically to be closer to her family/take advantage of DC job opportunities for me). My sister has been amazing in terms of keeping things normal and trying to hold some semblance that everything will be fine. My job's been great as well. We are lucky and I know it. I know how close things were. I know how privileged we are to have white collar jobs and to have jobs where we are respected enough and treated well in times like this. I just needed a gut check that I wasn't nuts that this isn't normal.

My wife had a stroke and I didn't want to go into it but it was horrible. She will recovery (we all hope) but it will be a long road and I think my in laws sort of latch onto the "she will be fine" and sort of tune out everything else.

Thank you everyone.[/quote]

Op, my child's teacher had a massive stroke last year (she is relatively young, mid 40s) and was in the hospital/rehab for months. She should have died but luckily and thankfully she pulled through, but not without over a year of therapies, multiple brain surgeries, etc.  She is also a friend of our family and a neighbor.

I completely understand the chaos this must have brought onto your life. I am terribly sorry you are not receiving the help you need and honestly deserve from her family.  I doubt you will get anytime soon that help from them. So I second the recommendation to reach out to your community (your church, wife's school, your neighbors, any groups you are in, etc.).  Many organizations have a point person that organizes meal trains, task assistants, etc.  Churches are great with this.  I've received requests for help with meals, help with childcare, grocery runs, laundry help, walking dogs, etc.  If I can help, I always do, even if I barely know the person. I am sure I am not the only one that thinks this way. Please don't take this all on your own.

And you should say something to your SIL, but if I were you I would call her and put her on the spot. Text and written emails can be manipulated.  Tell her your wife, your partner, the mother of your children, the person you have built a forever life with, has had a massive stroke, that she needs help doing even the most basic things (feeding herself, going to the bathroomm, dressing herself, grooming, etc., I'm just guessing at this, but you get the idea), that you have a toddler and preschooler, your life is in a major crisis and you are so deep down in the hole, you don't see how your life will ever be the same. So your children are lucky to even get their regular mom for christmas, and buying, wrapping and exchanging gifts are the last thing on your mind unless you can buy back your wife's health.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics