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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families. [/quote]

So you can't be bigoted?  Interesting.[/quote]

OP here.

I deeply resent being called a "bigot" and the other awful comments thrown my way on this thread. There is a lot more at play here than simply the fact that he's white or christian. There is a MASSIVE culture and lifestyle gap between my family and a regular white western family.

Okay, so my sister gets along with this guy. But do they have similar values? Goals? Outlooks? How will they raise their children? What about the fact that our family doesn't drink or party and his family is made up of loud drinking parties. How will the two families ever socialize when they get together? ETC.

It sets up a couple for a lifelong struggle.

My sister likes to think that she's very different from us. You know, maybe she is. But her dating this guy seriously and stepping out of our culture and traditions and associating with a family that is SO FUNDAMENTALLY different than us just means that we will not be involved in her life. 
 [/quote]

Your sister is not the first or last person to date across religious, ethnic, cultural or socioeconomic lines. What will her spouse do? They will have to figure it out. It's not your job to decide it can't be resolved. [/quote]

I grew up in a conservative Indian community here in the US and can't even with people like the OP and her family.  Seriously?  Your parents moved to this country, they assumed the risk of their children assimilating.   Sorry, you are a bigot.  I get the cultural differences are something to be concerned about, but that means it's something your sister and her SO have to conciously address in a respectful manner.  It doesn't mean that you get to decide that someone isn't worthy of dating your sister because of his skin color or religion.

Snarky me would point out that the families that were most adamant about their kids not dating non-Indians for the most part ended up with their kids marrying non-Indians.  And pretty much all of them are on good terms now, once the initial shock wore off.  It's amazing how parents come around when they see that their kids have found someone who loves and cares about them.  And grandkids, that usually helps.

My brother married a nice Indian girl with the right last name and parents from the right part of India.  I married a white dude from the Midwest.  We've both navigated the issue of integrating families -- just like all married couples do.    It's actually harder marrying another child of immigrants from the same country, since each family assimilates to different degrees.

Anyway, if you were a good sister, you'd support her and run interference with her and your parents, regardless of your dating history.  That you dated white guys (but only secretly) makes your lack of support that much more insulting. [/quote]

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