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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The BIL is insecure by announcing, without thinking, this grand gesture. Of course everyone is going to want to go! How awesome is a free trip to Hawaii. But what happens when you get there?

Everyone will feel obligated to make sure BIL has a great time. 
BIL will have moments where he feels that this decision was made in haste. He will second guess himself, esp. if he fees taken for granted. And he will feel that way.
No one will feel comfortable making their own decisions - the BIL will be the leader and no one knows what he has in mind and what is his idea of a good time.
DH does not like the BIL. He does not want anything from him. If this was BIL's best friend offering the trip, I am sure his reaction would be quite different.
This trip has a much bigger chance of ruining relationships rather than building them.

Personally, I would try and convince DH to go and telling him that yes, this might ed up being a nightmare trip, but it might also be a lot of fun. If it ruins the relationship with BIL, then you can pay him back and just know that the relationship was destined to be ruined at another time. If DH remains adamant about not going, then you will need to stay home. Maybe the kids can fly out for a few days if theya re old enough.

Sadly this is probably a very accurate prediction, especially about the dynamic between fam. and BIL during trip. Might be a good idea to have a quiet family meeting (or conference call) that does NOT include BIL so that everyone can discuss how to handle all of this while in Hawaii - cards on table to prevent potential fallings out among family members.

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