Reply to In Laws invite DH's ex wife and child on holidays we don't have the child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am pretty shocked at the responses actually.  I think if 99% of you were actually in this situation you would be livid.  I don't buy for a second that you would be cool with it.  I know that my wife would hit the roof if she were in this situation.  [/quote]

I would be totally cool with it unless my ex had done something absolutely horrible to cause the divorce.  Or if they were an incredibly toxic person I would not like it.  BUT I would actually encourage this kind of relationship for the sake of my child as long as everyone could be mature and respectable.  My DH and I will most likely be divorced within the year.  And I hope to God my family still welcomes him with open arms.  I hate living with him and I hate having to try and navigate life with him.  But I would welcome him to our family holidays even with me there.  Even when we divorce my family will still consider him a part of our family....because he is.  I want our kids to still see us ALL as family.[/quote]

[b]It's not about being cool with it or not[/b]. It is about making peace with things that we don't like/ hurt our ego, by looking at the broader perspective.
There's a child involved here.[/quote]

Ding ding ding!  This PP gets it.  It's not about you, OP.  You don't have to like it.  You and DH can be (privately) annoyed as hell.  But not one word of annoyance should be uttered aloud.  The ex might be a harpy bitch from hell or a sainted angel.  It doesn't matter.  Maybe the in laws hate her.  Maybe they secretly wish their son was still married to her.  Maybe they just don't like you.  Maybe they think (mistakenly?!) that you're a solid partner and a good DIL and you can deal with the situation.  But it just doesn't matter.  You don't have to like it, but you have to accept it.  So it's easier if you make peace with it, but if you want to stew, go right ahead.  But don't say anything to the in laws.[/quote]

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