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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.

First, as I was just saying to a co-worker, I have a lot of respect for single parents.  Due to a family health issue, my wife just spent Thanksgiving week (left last Monday, home tonight) on the west coast caring for her mother while I stayed home with our twin 4-year olds.  Hard week and I always knew that there was an end in sight.  So I take my hat off to you for doing it full-time.

That said, I still agree with others that you were in the wrong here.  I understand exactly why it was the perfect time to get the work done.  I do an annual Shutterfly photobook of my kids for the grandparents and us every year.  It takes me a few evenings spread out over a couple of weeks to get each book done.  However, unless you asked your mother if it would be alright for you to work on this project,  how long it would take for you to be holed up alone with the computer and that you needed family help to watch the kids, I still think that it was presumptuous for you to do this project then.  You mother may not have realized how long you would be unavailable to the family and was finally fed up with your project.  Even if everyone was off doing their own thing (my own family is like that at holidays).  We still regularly come back and spend some time over coffee or lend a hand with a project, check in on the kids, etc.  There's still family interaction going on even if only a few minutes here, a few minute there.  Holing yourself up in another room with a computer doesn't quite have that same feel and would be off-putting.  My brother will occasionally work during such a holiday weekend, but he'll move his computer into the kitchen and still be there chatting with folks, occasionally being able to go and help out if asked and will take a break if it's  his turn to go and check on the kids.

If your obsession with your photobook got to the point of annoying your mother, then I think you overstepped the boundaries of courtesy and do owe your mother an apology.  You don't have the right to be annoyed because you were the one that took advantage of the situation and abused your mother's hospitality to the point of irritating her.  You know your mother and should know whether a simple apology like you gave was sufficient or whether you need to do a little more for her, but you don't get to be annoyed with the situation since you created it and you do owe amends, which you've already started.  [b]Also, you should make amends to your SIL.  She brushed it off, but something like emailing her a Starbucks gift card with $10 "for a holiday thank you for your help" (if she does Starbucks) or something like it would probably be appropriate.[/b]  She spent a considerable amount of her holiday helping you with your project and even if she doesn't mind, you still should be gracious about taking up a lot of her time on her holiday.[/quote]

First,  my SIL spent a few minutes here and there to answer a random question. At no point was she ever in the room with me working on the book. She was happy to answer my questions. I think she would be insulted if I were to give her a gift card/thank you gift. We help each other out depending on the situation or need. In my opinion, that is what family does.

Second, I worked on the book for 1 hour on Saturday evening, and 90 minutes on Friday evening. This is a total of 2 hours and 30 minutes.  Each time I asked my mom for permission to work on the book. The answer was always 'yes.'

[/quote]

I'm the PP you're responding to.  I'm not sure what you want from DCUM.  You came on here because you were annoyed with your mother over her reaction.  You have almost unanimously been told (with only 1 or 2 exceptions in 6 pages of responses) that you were rude. Yet rather than accept that many people consider your mother was not the issue, but that your behavior was rude, you object, disagree, and argue, sometimes with attitude.  You keep adding additional details in the hopes that something you say will change the peanut gallery's answer, but only one person has retracted their initial assessment that you were rude.  I'm not sure that even with the additional details that you've provided that you're going to get more than a small percentage of the respondents to say that you were justified in your reaction.  The large majority still believes you and your behavior were the problem, not your mother. [/quote]

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