Reply to Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart. [/quote]

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part.  I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15.  The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years.  DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun.  With college on the horizon, that is not an option.[/quote]

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want. [/quote]

We had our last child in our later 30's (36 me, 38 dh).  At this point we are in our early 50's with 2 teenagers.  Dh and I can absolutely go out and have fun now - the kids are plenty mature and responsible enough to stay at home in the evenings by themselves.

And we truly enjoy having our kids home now.  I actually am glad that we don't have an empty nest, yet.  [/quote]

I think pps are talking about not having to work to support college educations, rather than date nights out.[/quote]

For us the math worked out o.k. for us to both work in our 20's and early 30's while saving for retirement in the process.  If we had had kids early on we likely would not have started our retirement savings as early as we did.  All of our money would have been going towards childcare.  We lived pretty frugally when we were DINKs and like Op, our idea of a date night was splurging on steaks and a bottle of wine, playing good music and enjoying time spent together at home.  Once the kids were born, we would put them to bed and then enjoy time together afterwards.

Now in our 50's our kids are teens so we really don't have any childcare needs. We still need an income, we still need health insurance...so it's not like we could just both stop working and do something "fun".  Although there is a certain peace of mind that comes with knowing that our kids are now past the sitter stage so that gives us some added flexibility.  Definitely easier than the full on 24/7 childcare stage.[/quote]

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