Reply to Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP here. 
I wanted to let this thread ride itself out for the weekend and just mull the posts one by one as they came in. Thank you, everyone, who offered thoughtful responses, both pro and con. You've really given me a lot to think about it, and I think that's a positive thing. Both DH and I are very analytical and even this kind of anecdotal stuff is really good for us to weigh.

DH and I had a great talk about it yesterday. Financially, this is actually a really good time for us. I understand what people are saying about college, etc. but I don't think that will be the worry it would have been if we had children earlier in our relationship. We are both established in our careers, but he's reached a different point than most 40ishes, where his income is only going up now instead of stable. I don't have a lot more increase potential, but my career is in an industry that gives me a fair amount of flexibility like working from home, somewhat flexible hours, and the possibility of working for another company if I had to.

DHs big caveat was that if we do go for this, we maintain our very active lifestyle, both for ourselves, and so we will be healthier, longer. This will mean things like hiking instead of kayaking, or biking more becaus a chariot is pretty convenient, but I think is an important consideration that will help us maintain the life we're used to.

As far as "lifestyle", we've pretty much spent ourselves in that respect as far as going out, etc. we met in our late 20s, and had both gotten our respective willies out before we met, and then had a great period when we first met. We're more casual cocktail party at home kind of people, or splurge and get a good steak and bottle of wine for date night at home.

And yes, we understand that every.thing changes.

The post that resonated with me was most (and thank you PP) was on the first or second page and it spoke of "feeling ready" and unsure about being a good mother.. I guess that's the problem. I feel scared, not ready. I've never had the day to day drive to be a mother... But I'm not sure if that's because I put it out of my head due to circumstance? It seems so weird after 20 odd years of being so extremely careful with birth control (never even had a scare) to just ... Not, and let the chips fall where they do.

On that note, I already know in my heart (well, at this point), that I wouldn't pursue ART or anything like that if I can't get or keep a pregnancy. I also think we would be fine with an only child (I know... That's a whole other thread in is place!).

Now the weird part feels like pulling the trigger. It just seems so weird to have thought life would go one way, and then finding it might go the other.

Then again... I guess that's life in a nutshell!

Again, thank you.. I hope the posts keep coming :)

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics