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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Stay with my underemployed DH for the kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I take issue with your emphasizing that she needed to get a job and contribute to the family financially. When I saw that written my stomach actually turned in disgust. I wouldn't suggest a man ever marry a woman with size-able student loans, and I wouldn't suggest that he marry someone without the expectation that he be taking the full financial load up through early childhood and significantly thereafter. Most women, especially those with full-time jobs and children but even those staying at home with children, are seriously overworked and exhausted. So I would hardly call it retirement. The fact that you suggest so reveals even more of your pitiful and repulsive view on the matter. I'd be depressed if I was married to you, too. *Shiver* [/quote] So a man should be prepared to fully support his wife and children financially, simply because he is a man, but a woman should not expect that she might need to do the same?[/quote] Yes, that is 100% correct. You see, men and women are not the same. Taking on children is scary and difficult for BOTH men and women. Sorry pal, if you can't handle it just get one of those robotic blow up dolls. I hear they're getting pretty good. [/quote] Then provide something of value to the man. $$$$, a clean house, and blow jobs. Pick any two.[/quote] I agree with this 100%. I don't see anyone suggesting that the man do all the work of life and the woman lay about. I just think too many people buy into an ideal that doesn't work - namely that it's shameful for a woman to "only" take care of a family or not to have a fancy career. Careers are a lot of work. Not a lot of glamour typically. Women need to learn that fact YOUNG and then make choices inline with that fact. Such as not go to expensive grad school unless she knows in her bones she wants to work in a serious way, which some women (but not most) do. We actually live in a world with a lot of great advantages. Namely, the internet and long life expectancies mean that there are tons of exciting, fulfilling options available to women IF THEY MAKE GOOD CHOICES. If I had a daughter, unless she was a very dedicated, talented, hard worker hell bent on a certain job, I would a) encourage her to get married fairly young (25-28ish) to a man who could support a family reasonably well (rich not required). b) encourage her to have realistic expectations about life and strongly discourage entitlement c) hope that she would go on to live a rich and fulfilling life of interesting and rewarding work post small-child rearing, which is TOTALLY POSSIBLE in our world today. No, you can't drop out of the workforce and go back and get a job at director level. But there are many options in today's world for a creative, smart person to find decent and fulfilling work. There is nothing wrong with not being on a top executive track. My two cents :) [/quote] What is this, the 50s? I agree its not a good idea to take out thousands of dollars worth of loans for a graduate degree if you have no intention of putting that degree to use. But the whole point of higher education is it gives women OPTIONS. It provides women with the ability to support themselves in the event they don't find their "white knight." Not all women marry men who are able to be the main breadwinner. That's the whole point of this post! If OP wasn't able to work her whole family would have REALLY been in trouble when her husband lost his job. [/quote]
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