Reply to Is it okay to reveal an SO's secret to a loved one?

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Reply to "Is it okay to reveal an SO's secret to a loved one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those saying MYOB:

Assume that OP came across a video on the internet showing her LO's SO giving a hate-filled racist speech to a group of Aryan Nationalists. Now should she tell?[/quote]

No, of course not.  The issue is sticking your nose in other people's business.  This is not about "conservative" vs. "liberal" values of what should be accepted and what should be shunned.  It's about boundaries and whose place it is to judge.

I would politely decline to have anything to do with a hate-filled racist - either to invite them into my home or to be their guest or in any other way be associated with them.  If the OP is similarly offended by the sex work, she can politely decline (not make an overt snub) to have anything to do with the couple any longer as well.

I would have a hard time wanting to hang out with a "LO" who wanted to be involved with a virulent racist...probably because it would reveal to me something about my "LO" that made me realize I didn't really share their values and they were no longer a "loved one".  I have relatives I have nothing to do with because I perceive them to have some seriously repellant attitudes...and former friends I've left in the past for the same reason. I would kind of verify whether or not the "friend" or "relative" actually shared those beliefs and I'd see what the SO had to say as well, but then, it's easy to find out someone's views on public policy, and not so much to ask them about their personal sex life, because...well, [b]it's their personal, private sex life[/b] - would you ask your grandmother about her sex life?  Would it be any of your business?  These things are called "boundaries".

But that's not what the OP is talking about here, is it?  What she really wants to do is dynamite the relationship between the "LO" and his "SO".  She thinks she's found something ugly enough to drive a wedge between them.  If what she really wants is to not have a sex worker in her life, she can do that without revealing anything to either of the couple.  [/quote]

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