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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I offered my friend a loan to pay off her credit card bills. I think she has been depressed for several years and finally hit bottom. She's a SAHM, two kids and hasn't worked in 7 years.  She was staying home to write but somehow never got around to finishing anything.  I think it's years of making excuses but she has also worked herself up to near panic attacks and I wanted to help alleviate her stress.  She was thinking of declaring bankruptcy but the lawyer said she would be forced to sell her house first.  I have the money and I hate the idea of her paying high interest rates and going further into debt. She has a domestic partner who is paying for most expenses but these are her own debts which she has accumulated over the years.  I was hesitant about giving a loan but I blurted it out when she said the lawyer told her she would have to sell the house.

The thing is I am also angry at her for allowing herself to get into this situation.  I am financially independent but I made the money completely on my own.  We were on food stamps when I was little and I never had the privilege to be wasteful.  The idea of going into debt is not in my DNA.  In fact, I would have a lot more money if I took more risks with my money.. ie even get a mortgage.  I never borrowed against money I didn't have.  I hope that she has truly hit bottom and she can turn herself around.  I am sad for her but I'm also angry and there's no one I can talk to about it.  I'm afraid if I tell my spouse he'll berate me and I can't tell our mutual friends because of her shame.  
 
She offered to put a lien on her house and to sign a loan agreement then she said "maybe you don't even want that because you would never call the lien in."  I would never throw her out of her house even if she never pays me back in this lifetime but I still want the loan agreement.  I still want her to feel responsible for her debts, but most of all I want her to turn her life around. 
[/quote]

Wow i wish i had you as a friend , a good friend like you is very hard to come by,  she needs counseling as well and you should teach a money matters workshop.
You are a awesome friend, but you'll never see that money, it would be a gift.[/quote]

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