Reply to What are some things people do unknowingly that make them seem elitist?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "What are some things people do unknowingly that make them seem elitist?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you need to concentrate less on your DH pleasing your parents, and more on accepting that that's not possible.  You need to learn how to be ok with your mother NOT being ok.  It's really her problem to deal with.  Be loving, kind and as open as you can be without getting rebuked.  After that, if your mother has complaints, that's on HER.  It's not on you, or your DH and doesn't mean you need to do things differently to please her.

The next time your mother brings up how much she doesn't like your DH, don't listen to it.  "Mom, he's my husband, I won't allow you to talk about him like that.".  If she continues "Mom, can we talk about something else?" and if not "Mom, we can talk when you're feeling less upset, bye now".

[b]You don't need to prove to your mother that you and your DH are not elitist.  You need to be ok with not having her approval.  [/quote][/b]

OP here. I agree with this. I just have no clue how to go about this.[/quote]

Baby steps. Or if it's really affecting you - therapy.  
Reminds me of my ILs family - [b]after a few years I figured MIL just disapproves whomever her children marry. In general.[/b] Whoever that happens to be. More money/education, same, or less. She has 4 children, doesn't like any of their spouses.[/quote]

THIS.  PP, I would imagine it is even "more difficult" for MIL to "like" any *women* who married into the family.  Which is so much more telling about MIL than it is about the woman, KWIM?  My MIL is very similar.  She prides herself on telling anyone who will listen that she "just doesn't like me".  As if 1.) I ever did anything to her, but be perfectly civil and kind and 2.) I like her (She is anything *but* kind, so I don't like her - but I also don't go around telling people so, thank you very much).

Some women (including MILs) just don't like other women.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics