Reply to LD wife working on relationship- just found about DH "emotional affair"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've read through this forum with a mix of bemusement and optimism.  As a veteran of two marriages and several affairs (judge as you wish), I can tell you that your marriage will likely survive...if changes are made.
You mention that you found your DH's location by pinging his phone.  This alone tells me that he is an affair rookie.  Really?!  Turning off location is covered the first day of affair 101.
My guess is that you guys married young, or before one of you had a significant life change.  He likely grew into someone with more confidence/power/money than when you met.  You didn't notice or appreciate the transformation, and someone else did.  What he did was socially wrong and hurtful, but I wonder if it was out of desperation for understanding, validation, approval.
If you want the relationship to survive, get a good counselor who doesn't judge either of you too harshly.  Both of you need to realize and appreciate what you offer each other in the relationship.  Don't expect overnight change.  Be suspicious of him, but don't hobble him with harsh restrictions (tracking programs, curfews, friend restrictions, etc).  If he feels repressed, he will not stick around (speaking from personal history).
Good luck to both of you![/quote]

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