Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think once you have kids, you cannot be selfish anymore.  And it's selfish to pursue a new romance and put a new spouse ahead of  your kids.  We pursue romance to make our selves happy.  Our personal happiness is no longer the top priority once kids come along.

It is not selfish to focus on your marriage to the parent of your children.  The hope is that a stable marriage is the bedrock of a stable family for the kids.

I think it's unwise to remarry if you are divorced with young kids.  It does indeed create conflicts that everyone is better off without.

[/quote]

Oh please. [b]Kids want their parents to be happy.[/b] And it's not good for any kids to be treated as the "mini spouse" of their single parent. It's definitely better for my stepchildren that their Father is no longer a single man feeding them cereal 3 x a day in an apartment. They have a family on our side with siblings, family vacations, activies, etc. Meanwhile their Mother drops them on her parents to go party. At least they have some semblance of a normal life since their Dad remarried. [/quote]

I am glad it is working out for you.  I disagree, however, about the bolded.  Young children are developmentally incapable of putting their parent/parents' "happiness" before their own needs.[/quote]

And I disagree with you. Children, even from a startling young age are able to deciper whether their parents are happy/mad/sad etc. And they prefer happy.[/quote]

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