Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My first husband went on to marry a solid woman who was an excellent, loving, generous stepmother to our child. I know she struggled with sorting out how to deal with me, even though things were amicable and I didn't ask for anything other than child support and splitting medical and orthodontia bills. Everything else he did for and with the child and gave the child was on his own. I always assumed he was consulting with his wife.

Ultimately it's not really a "fair" situation when you marry someone who already has kids, and you shouldn't do so if you can't handle this. You're not going to get all your spouse's money, time, attention, or love. You will have to share. You can either embrace that and embrace the kids involved, or you work to cut those kids out so that you can put yourself and your potential hatchlings first in the nest. Or maybe you fall somewhere in between, and you technically do right by his kids, but you make sure you let them feel like second-class creatures that you resent. I've seen each of the three scenarios a million times.

That's always a factor to keep in mind when you have kids and you contemplate divorce. What kind of new partner is your future ex likely to bring into the picture? I know that if I split with my current spouse, because of the nature of his issues, he will be highly likely to bring in someone who will mistreat our kids. So I stay put. My mistakes are mine to pay for.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

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