Reply to Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I lost my virginity at age 14 in a closet with someone I didn't know while others waited outside for their turns. You are the first people I've told, and the last. [/quote]

I am female. One "couple" went before me and another after me. The boy was older and I had just met him. My "friends" pressured me into it. The real problem though was my mother and her influence one life. I was not taught self respect. I saw sex and drugs as a way of life. I have come so far!  But this is my secret, and I have never told anyone. The support I have just received is extremely comforting. [/quote]

I'm so sorry.  It was 100% not your fault.  You were sexually assaulted and abused.  I'm glad you can realize that now.  It was not, at all, your fault.

Hug going out to you.  [/quote]

I'm unclear how this was assault or abuse. Didn't she clarify that she slept with one and only one guy that night? She says the people waiting were couples. It seems like a regrettable event in her life. I have sympathy for her, but saying it wasn't AT ALL her "fault" is disingenuous. In fact, it's a bit condescending. People convinced me to do some stupid shit too, but ultimately I was the one responsible for doing them. I guess I think fault is just irrelevant here.  I think instead of saying "it's not your fault, " I'd point out that what happened is NOT something you need to feel any shame about. We understand. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

did you even read the OP?  she was FOURTEEN and the boy was older.  [/quote]

Didn't specify how much older.  Was he 15 or 23?  Two very different situations.[/quote]

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