Reply to Thanksgiving 'dynamic' and how to prevent/deal with it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is, if you took over hosting because of your pregnancies, it sounds like his mom had to give up hosting before she was really ready.  Doesn't sound like it was her choice.

Your DH's mom sounds like my mom a bit -- used to marshalling all the forces together for a big event, who gets energy and feels excitement from ordering people around in order to achieve a goal.  You can deflate her balloon by being the host yourself, but I don't think she will be any happier ... probably just the opposite.  She still wants to feel that feeling, and you are kind of taking it away from her.

And you're allowed to, I guess. [b] But also imagine yourself when you're 60 or 70 and don't yet want to be relegated to being the old lady with the biscuits in the corner, past her prime, who isn't important enough to manage anything anymore, who has been replaced.  You can do that to her.[/b]  On the other hand, it wouldn't kill you to just let her do some of these things.  It might bother you less if you see it as her fighting against her age, instead of trying to usurp you.

Good luck![/quote]
Well said...it's kind to think of what might be going on in MIL's mind and perhaps feel sorry for her that she might be feeling left out.[/quote]

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