Reply to Thanksgiving 'dynamic' and how to prevent/deal with it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, let it go. Who cares. If she brings food, put it out somewhere. Who cares what chair you sit in. In my family the middle aged generation would offer the host chairs to the older people and the older people would insist the middle aged hosts the a nd it would go back and forth.[/quote]

Sensibilty and graciousness such as that which you are speaking of are not to be found in many of the households of dcum.[/quote]

Let's be clear: it's not gracious to act like the hostess in someone else's house.[/quote]

But when you are hosting the gracious thing to do is to be flexible and accomodating of your guests, even the quirky ones, and [b]especially the elderly.[/b]

Place cards are a lovely way to do what OP is trying to achieve.  Rolling with the seating is another (maybe OP can take her husband's seat and he can sit next to her if sitting on an end is so important to OP). Getting in a power struggle with MIL, over email and especially at the actual event is bad manners and terrible hosting.

[/quote]

"The elderly?" What the what? Let me guess, MIL is probably in her mid- to late-60s, right? If OP has a toddler? Yeah, that doesn't get "the elderly" pass. You don't get to play the elderly card to excuse that behavior. Elderly is more like 75+.

She sounds like a right bitch, frankly. And I think she knows exactly what she's doing. OP sounds pretty darn patient and accommodating, BUT she doesn't seem like a total pushover...she's actually willing to face a dynamic she doesn't like and DO something about it, in a thoughtful and measured way.

Imagine that, DCUM! Setting some boundaries and figuring out how to solve a problem instead of just yapping and complaining about it, and letting people walk all over you![/quote]

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