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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]BigLaw partner here.  I feel bad for OP.  First and foremost, not all BigLaw is the same.  Some BigLaw firms have a culture that is more understanding of family time than others.  And it is practice group specific.  Demand for lawyers is contracting at a time law schools are pumping out more grads.  She is right - at some point in BigLaw, you either have clients (originations, responsibility) or you are highly techinical (IP, Tax) or you are expendible.  That is a lot of pressure on someone who is a primary breadwinner.

I say all of this as a BigLaw partner who is 40 and makes 400 k per year.  I turn down a lot of leadership roles, board positions, bar positions, because I can't do it all and be with my family.  But, I also have an established book so I can work 8-6 and bill enough that I can make more than enough money to be comfortable.  Neither DW or I have any desire to live the super affluent life.

Most of all, I can tell how miserable the OP is.  I get it.  She is killing herself for her family all week, and what looks like "me" time is still for her firm (although if you like your network, the social events can be kind of fun).  Add in the dynamic of her being female - the divorce rate for our female equity partners is near 80% because women seem to lose connection to their SAHD - and I can see how OP is in a no-win situation.

Only advice I can give is to try and really figure out what makes you happy.  BigLaw will never make you feel secure, it will always ask more from you.  The reason why there is a cliche about no one wishing they spent more time at the office on their death bed is because its true.  Sit down with your husband, figure out if you would both be happy with you making less (perhaps he needs to get a higher paying job to compensate) and get out of this cycle before it destroys what is supposed to be the best years of your life.[/quote]

You sound like a really great person. [b]How were you able to build your book of business while maintaining some semblance of balance? It sounds as if you get a steady stream of work from the same set of clients. [/b]From what I understand, that is increasingly uncommon as clients look for the most cost-effective option for each matter, which may not always be the same person/firm.[/quote]

I have about a dozen clients - some bigger than others - who send me 95% of my work.  We are competitively priced, my clients know I will treat them fairly even if we are not the most inexpensive (law is like a car mechanic, if you can't trust them to tell you what you really need, price is irrelevant).  Granted, I am in an industry where clients always have work, so my model may not apply to those who are, say, commercial litigators who generally deal in one-off bet the company cases.

[/quote]

What is your industry/practice area?[/quote]

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