Reply to Bar Mitzvah for 10K?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you don't raise your child Jewish b/c of a bar mitzvah? Ridiculous.  Have a small luncheon of something simple at the temple afterward - a nice oneg.  [/quote]

More accurately, PP is not raising their child Jewish because of the bar mitzvah PARTY. Which is not actually a religious requirement.[/quote]

I'm the original Pp who said this is why I'm not raising my children jewish--it was in response to the person who said you couldn't possibly throw a decent party for under 10k. It's that snooty attitude that I'm trying to stay away from.  Not that all Jews act or talk like that, but the whole ridiculious bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah scene is absolutely about being showy and ostentatious. Sure you could have a low key affair with just cake and no DJ party after the service, but at what social cost to your child who is invited to these fancy shin digs and can't live up to the others or reciprocate?

My family were poor immigrants in the 70s and tried to join a synagogue and were turned away because they could not afford it. Our family is not the only ones who had experienced this, we have heard similar stories, so forgive me if it leaves a bad taste in my mouth towards this religion (and most religions, actually). I know now they have "scholarships" for families who can't afford them, but why all the money anyway? Why is belonging to a synagogue about fees/money and tickets? [/quote]

I am Catholic, but my DH is Jewish.  We have often discussed how ridiculous it is to have what is essentially a wedding-like reception for a 13-year old.  In my religion, when a child makes his or her First Communion or gets confirmed (rites of passage that are just as significant in our religion as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is in the Jewish faith), it is usually followed by a simple lunch at the parents' house with a sheet cake, balloons, streamers, kids playing in the backyard, and simple gifts.  I don't see why anything beyond this is necessary, and my Jewish husband agrees, but perhaps someone can educate me.  Why not just have someething simple like this OP?  As long it is fun for your child, who cares what anyone else thinks!          [/quote]
I am pretty tired of Catholics comparing first communion and confirmation to a Bar/Bat Mitvah. They are not even close to the same thing. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a ceremony that usually is for one child only (very occasionally is it done in groups) and involves years of schooling and Hebrew language lessons. The child has to lead 30-60 minute long service that includes reading from both the Torah and Bible in Hebrew and giving a written speech about the event. First communion and confirmation is done in groups and the kids don't lead the service.

In addition, in many communities, Catholic families spend an extreme amount of money dressing their little girl like a bride for her first communion. What's that all about?[/quote]

You seem to be a self-proclaimed expert on Catholicism, but let me correct you on one thing.  First Communion and Confirmation also take years of study.  In fact, you must take classes for two full years to become confirmed.  I know that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is very significant, but you did not have to diminish the importance of the Catholic rites of passage or all of the work that the kids must do to participate in them.    [/quote]

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