Reply to Domestic violence - is it inevitable in every relationship?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Domestic violence - is it inevitable in every relationship?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]NP: Short answer: No, no no, domestic violence is NOT inevitable in every relationship.

Longer answer: We live in a society where estimates are 1 in 4 women (25%) are sexually assaulted in college, and 1 in 3 girls sexually assaulted by the time they're 18 (and those are probably low estimates; real number probably higher).  We live in a society where men are "forgiven" for all SORTS of bad behavior that, if women demonstrate the same behaviors (violence, promiscuity, ambition) women are demonized for it while men are either applauded or it's ignored.

So yes, this culture and - with specific men and families, generations of domestic violence - specific family dynamics breed a LOT of men who are comfortable with and unapologetic about being abusive (not admitting to it, just doing it and rationalizing it), and women who buy into idea they don't deserve better, are never going to get better, and confuse obession/control with "love".  So there is a lot of domestic violence.

But not every man is like that by a long shot, and when women are supported in walking away at the first signs of excessive control, blaming the victim, or actual violence, then those women do much better than the ones who aren't supported and don't believe they should walk away.

There are good men out there OP, and sadly, so many women don't trust the good men because they either find them "boring", "vanilla", or they have such low self-esteem they seek out the men who treat them badly because that's what's familiar.  Drop this guy and keep looking.  You deserve better.  Everyone deserved better than someone who tries to control them and is abusive.  If you spend more time feeling bad in his presence than good, it's time to walk away....[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics