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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One thing that strikes me about this thread is the contradiction embodied by the low libido spouses who complain that their higher libido spouses need for sex make them feel objectified as just a "warm body" yet at the same time we're urged to be grateful when that spouse unenthusiastically grants use of that "warm body".

Sorry, folks, but the knowledge that your spouse only wants you maybe once a month or so when the hormones are raging takes a huge toll on the ego and more importantly damages that connection those of us who have higher libido crave.

In my case, knowing my DW only wants me when the hormones are raging actually makes ME feel like the "warm body." We typically have sex 1-2 times per week except during her period and I might get oral when she's on her period.  With the exception of the one or two times per month where it's clear she actually wants to have sex I feel like she's thinking of somebody else when we're doing it.  For example, she won't make eye contact when we're facing each other...if I catch her eye, she closes her eyes.

I've read enough threads on the explicit board about DWs who pine for former lovers and/or candidly lament that their DH's endowment doesn't "measure up" to their needs that it's hard not to feel pretty hopeless about all this. [/quote]

So only the high libido spouse gets to have feelings that are validated?  The LL spouse's feelings aren't important enough?

Sorry folks, but the knowledge that your spouse only wants to get off and wants you to act like a semi-pro porn star as you're getting him off, even though you're exhausted from working all day, cleaning up after the kids, making the spouse's dinner, talking to spouse's mother on the phone, etc.. takes a huge toll on the ego and, more importantly, damages the emotional connection those of us who have the lower libido crave.[/quote]

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