Reply to If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?

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Reply to "If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP again.  Who knows what actually happened with the affair.  It was ongoing when I discovered it (via looking at his phone one day in a fit of desperation) and I think he might be telling the truth that it is over.  Of course, he lied before and he absolutely could be lying now.  I do know that they still work for the same company but immediately upon me confronting him/him admitting it, he requested a transfer within his company and he is now not working with her.  I verified this by going to his office and talking to his new coworkers.  I did that by just coming by to try to meet the new team and get coffee with my husband.  Before, she sat right next to him and now her office is in another building from him and his new coworkers were talking about their team and how they don't interact with the other division he just left.  All of that said, he could totally still be lying to me or he could do something like this again.  For now, it's like he is back to being himself now - he is acting like himself again for the first time in almost a year, which is apparently when the emotional aspect of the affair began.  For now, he claims to be doing whatever I need, and he made it so that my iPad gets the same texts he gets at the same time and is okay with me popping by unannounced for a quick coffee break or looking at credit card bills and anything else I can think of.  Again - I know he could have some sort of burner phone or other way of contacting other women, and this is very soon after discovery.

So I am not living in fantasy land at all.  Some people get past cheating and some people don't.  I don't know which camp I am in right now.  And if I stay, there will likely always be some element of doubt and insecurity, which is far from ideal.[/quote]

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